I was Just Thinking

 Have you ever heard a weatherman say tomorrow will be partially sunny?

 

 Why does your glass have to be half empty or half full, why can't it be half broken like most people?

 

 Have you ever noticed how some things never change, while other things still remain the same?

 

 Why do people vote when they don't like either candidate? When he is elected and screws up people just say, well you voted for him. What would happen if nobody voted anyway?

 

 What would happen if you left a very large tip for a rude waitress? Would she feel bad, and would that make you feel good?

 

 If you were going to a Gay Rights Parade and only wore a penis cup, wouldn't you do a few sit-ups first?

 

 If you were a guy and someone said you look just like your mom, would that be an insult?

 

 Have you ever introduced someone as your best friend, to your best friend? Would he still be your best friend?

 

 If you were going to get a tattoo, would you have a professional do it even if the neighbor kid would do it for free?

 

 Who are they, or those people, or them, are they always the same people, or does that refer to different people each time?

 

 Would it be a waste to feed a jackass a creampuff, even if he served you faithfully for twenty years? Would he appreciate it ? Oh that reminds me, if  you had sex with a donkey, would the other donkeys look down on it?

 

 If I was 40 and my girlfriend was 20, I would be twice her age. Then when I was 60 and she was 40, I would only be about 1 &1/2 times her age. When I'm 100 and she is 80, she would be 8/10ths my age. How long would it take, before we were the same age?

 

 Do you find Jesus, or does he find you, and does he ever get lost? If you believe in him, does he have to believe in you? Hey do you think God would burn you in Hell for eternity if you really screwed up while you were here? Wouldn't a weekend be enough punishment? Do you think he thought of that by himself, or did some preacher  like Benny Hinn give him the idea? Eternity, man that's cold.

 

 Hey, how about when you see a boxer pray before a fight, do you think Jesus is in his corner? What happens if both boxers pray at the same time? I guess that would just be called a fair fight. If you believed in evolution, would you be a monkey's uncle?

 

 Why does it take a life time to get over someone you fell in love with at first site? Oh, would a marriage counselor be doing their job if they told you to get a divorce?

Have you ever has any one tell you to cheer up when you are down and they are  also, or is it only when things are going good for them and not for you?

 

 If your AA sponsor was arrested in a child pornography sting, would that be reason enough to have a drink? Why is it that alcoholics had everything and lost it because of alcohol, and now that they don't drink, don't have anything to lose? Wouldn't you start drinking again until you got the house, boat, and cars back, then quit drinking?

 

Have you ever felt all alone in a crowded room, and if everyone else in the room felt the same way, would you still feel all alone?

 

 Who invented daylight savings time anyway? What's up with that?

 Do blacks have white history month, and do bi-racial people have more history than white or black people? If blacks were the majority, would whites still have to sit at the front of the bus, and drink out of separate fountains?

 

Would it be correct to say you were stuck fast, even if it took 2 hrs. to happen? 

If love is the opposite of hate, what's the opposite of indifference? Could it be love and hate?

 

Is rap music, rap and music? If scratching a needle on a record is pleasing to someone, would that person pay me to scratch my fingernails on a chalkboard?

 

Oh well, I was just thinking. Hey, if wisdom comes with age, why are there so many dumb, oh never mind. OK, gotta go gotta go....

Later,

The Reb

Home, I think?









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